A Place for Men

Why is American society such a problem for men? Women are wired emotionally. If they have issues or worries or even excitement, most women simply express those emotions verbally. In fact a lot of women will just wear their feelings on their sleeves so to speak. Men however are not wired this way. We are hard wired to action. We were built to take care of problems or prevent them if possible. It is against our DNA to talk because in our world talking is a waste of time that could be spent accomplishing something whether recreational or business.So what happens when things break down at the office home or our recreational time is not available? This is where the problems begin for a lot of men.

Men have ways, effective ways I might add of dealing with our emotions that do not involve words or talking to someone about them. For me my best therapy was going to the range and blasting off a few hundred rounds from my rifle or pistol. I no longer have the access and consequently the time that I used to have to take advantage of this therapy when needed most. I expect this should change soon but until then, I will have to settle for this blog. Yes I'm still using words, but for some reason it falls within the dude code because writing allows me time and distance to articulate what I want to say carefully. I also can't see my audience and I can walk away from those feelings on paper anytime I want. Writing also gives me a little sense that I've done something. Some men deal with things by grilling, jogging, going to the gym or playing some other sport. Some will even take their aggression on some deserving zombie in a video or computer game.

But from time to time dudes have those barber shop moments when we proudly demonstrate our man cards and collectively unite in a discussions that will solve all the worlds problems and maybe, just maybe solve one or two of our own issues. These moments don't just happen in barber shops. They can happen over a beers or Dr Pepper, or even at a camp site. I've even heard them at work.At these moments it's ok and everyone levels with everyone else. The fact that you came to the discussion with your issues at those designated times isn't looked upon as a sign of weakness but as a sign of real man attempting to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders with the expectation of being successful and conquering his challenges. It is a place where a man can be affirmed that this is expected of his kind and reminded of his true place and role in society. It's a place to get advice and gain some wisdom and knowledge from experienced men who have already walked down many paths for better or worse. It is a place where men hold each other accountable for being men.These places and moments seem to be increasingly absent from our American society and culture. That's just wrong. Men need those times and places more than anything today.

It is increasingly more difficult over the past decade for men to find anything on television geard towards us. Commercials are now more common where men are portrayed as bumbling fools before a snickering audience of females and men rolling their eyes in disgust. More and more movies and sitcoms portray women in leadership or leading roles in both acting and character. More products are being marketed towards women for women than ever before even though there is a huge market of products for men. In fact men are being increasingly ignored and  portrayed as irrelevant in America today. This attitude can even be found increasingly in Christian churches. Most worship services and styles are designed more for women. Even the music tends to lean this way. I'm sure this was not the intent but in churches for the most part. But on Mother's Day you may notice how mothers are idolized on a pedestal as goddesses while men tend to get a brief acknowledgement a long with a subtle sermon about how we can improve. This is not the norm for every church but is how I have observed in most churches ( and I have been to a lot of them.)

I love the song "I'm Still a Guy" by Brad Paisley. I find the words to this very relevant. Nothing further needs to be said about this song. Just listen to it carefully and think. I'm not offering up some solution that will magically restore mens' true place and purpose in American society overnight. What I'm merely suggesting to men is that we were all born and created to be men. Don't change from what you were created and designed to be just because our feminized culture expects you to change and adapt to its view. From one man to another, fill your world with ideas, people and atmospheres that will encourage your proper place in the world. We'll discuss that role in greater detail another time.